THE SWAN

Rainer Maria Rilke (tr. C.F. MacIntyre)

This misery that through the still-undone
must pass, bound and heavily weighed down,
is like the awkward walking of the swan.

And death, where we no longer comprehend
the very ground on which we daily stand,
is like his anxious letting-himself-go

into the water, soft against his breast,
which now how easily together flows
behind him in a little wake of waves…
while he, infinitely silent, self-possessed,
and ever more mature, is pleased to move
serenely on in his majestic way.

As a games player (checkers, chess, contract bridge and backgammon), I’ve encountered champions in all four intellectual sports, some of whom were more gifted than I was.. However, it was not until 2000 that I encountered anyone who was a full order of magnitude more intelligent. This occurred on a website (Swan Games) that offered online bridge, when I received an invitation to play with someone who used “ahitophel:” as a screen name. The wording of the invitation suggested an unusual grace, and the screen name struck me as more unusual still. I guessed its source as the Bible, and Felix then confirmed my guess and told who Ahitophel was. That began a friendship, via email and occasional telephone conversations. I found Felix to have exceptionally extensive knowledge and deep understanding. Somehow I got a sense of him also as completely free of malice. Good heart as well as good head. And yet, Felix made mistakes of both heart and head. A lesson for me. Perfection is always beyond the horizon, and the best we can do is merely to keep striving towards it.

I had the joy of knowing Felix as a friend through our lively telephone conversations on the first of the month in the two years preceding his passing. What a powerful mind at work, even or especially after his 100th birthday; what learning; what beautiful diction; what courtly manners! Felix (well-named) was larger than life–a spirit and personality of Shakespearean proportions. It is more than a truism that he will never be forgotten by anyone who had the benefit of knowing him.

My Father…

…felt connected with me from the first moment he gazed upon me. He said my eyes followed his every movement around the post-delivery room in the hospital.

…always displayed patience with me. Like the sleepless night he spent with his toddler bunk-mate onboard ship, as I plucked the hairs out of his chest.

…becomes evident in my voice; in my gait; in my sense of urgency; in my mirror

…saw the potential in me, and kept me reminded of that, especially during those times I seemed most determined to never fulfill it. I didn’t always know whether he believed I’d make something of myself. What I did often feel was his genuine concern, his fundamental acceptance of me, and his acknowledgement that it was my life to live.

My Teacher…

…filled my mind with every topic in which he believed I might find interest. Although it cannot compare in magnitude to his own, he fueled my lifelong thirst for knowledge.

…ensured that the Sundays we spent together were often a learning event; whether we visited museums, read Shakespeare aloud, or traveled to the many beautiful places surrounding New York City.

… during the summer of my fourteenth year, after I had failed Algebra, methodically tutored me toward a perfect score on the make-up examination.

…while I attended graduate school, helped me meet the demands of producing a paper each week for my International Business seminar. We accomplished this, with great success, through brief conversations on the wide array of unfamiliar topics assigned.

…by correcting my mistakes with noble intent, gave me the gift of openness to feedback.

My Example

…previously handled his intimate relationships in ways I became determined to avoid.

…managed his Protean career with appetites for risk and self-reinvention that fed my counter-drives for security and defined professional identity.

My Friend…

…spent two weeks alone with me in Mexico. We climbed Monte Garcia together, after which I somehow knew we had become friends. Enduring a withering case of food poisoning, he guided me through many of Mexico City’s historic sites, pausing occasionally to rest horizontally before resuming the tour.

…let me know each time we interacted how much joy and satisfaction our relationship brought him. The sincere interest he displayed in all aspects of my life touched me deeply.

…provided an inexhaustible source of strength and love for me. I love you, Dad. Farewell.

I had the pleasure of knowing Felix through his beloved wife Vicki and marveled that he was so accomplished in so many and varied areas. I also loved hearing stories of his life that spanned a century involving worldwide events and people. It is no surprise that his lifelong love of knowledge led him his donation that allows others to learn.

Felix was one of a kind! A big personality as feisty in death as he was in life. He had an insatiable curiosity and was one of the most intelligent people I have known. I am thankful to him for the 30 plus years of loving companionship that he gave to my sister. I have gratitude for the support he showed our family during my parents difficult final years. He will be missed.

I’m privileged to have gotten to know some of Felix’s family and wish them my heartfelt sympathies for their loss. And to my sister Vicki – I hope the sorrow you feel in your heart might be lightened by the love of family and the many friends that surround you.

With love to Vickie and to Felix’s family and friends, we fondly remember some of the most stimulating conversations we have ever experienced with anyone. Felix was a teacher in every encounter and we loved learning from him. Our only regret was not being able to spend more time enjoying his company. May God grant him rest and peace.

Felix was a truly remarkable man, a gift to anyone whose life touched with his. Suso and I feel fortunate to have known him if even for only a short time, having made his acquaintance through his wife, Vicki. His vast knowledge, caring demeanor, and genuine concern and interest in others made being with him such a pleasure. He made the world a better place and will be greatly missed by many,

We met Felix 47 years ago! A brilliant man that we shared so many wonderful times with!!! He believed strongly in the three of us! His strong belief gave us the confidence and strength to know that we were able to pursue and be the best at whatever we desired to be! His great acceptance, humor and love will live with us always!!!

Thank You Felix

XOXOXOXOXO
Laurie, Peter anf Nora

Despite being largely absent during my childhood and early adult years, my father played a significant role in my life. He was the beacon that led me to explore the cultural and intellectual, that widened my horizons, that gave me ambition. He was the role model that often fell from grace but ruined for ever my chances of finding a life partner to equal him for charm, fun, and learning. I loved him! Goodbye Dad.

It was seven years ago that I received a handwritten letter from a Felix Kaufmann saying he was favorably impressed with an article I wrote and suggested we meet. This we did, with Felix accompanied by his devoted wife Vicki.
In the course of a deep friendship that began on that day, yet seemed to have always existed, it became clear
Felix possessed not only the luminous mind evident on the first encounter, but also the qualities that
Aristotle said belong to the philosopher — courage, magnanimity, learnedness and memory.

Felix could recount each chess move of both Bobby Fischer and himself when he defeated Fischer in a game in Washington Square the year before the latter won the U.S. Championship over six decades ago.

He could remember every detail in the process of his formulation of the ratio of compounds of the first vitamin pill that he imparted to humanity.
And even after death his desire to benefit humanity is reflected in his having donated his remarkable centenarian body and ever youthful, creative brain to science.

Yet perhaps the quality that most stands out in our timid times was Felix’s courage.
His written account of his father’s Holocaust experience, and of Felix’s vital role in the survival of his parents, is profound, as is the story of his own perilous escape to freedom.
Felix, like his father, possessed the fortitude of the Jewish people. Thus it was passed on, “l’dor v’dor”, “from generation to generation”.

I am honored and enriched to have known Felix. So too that Vicki placed the Candelabra I presented him on his 103rd birthday over the place his spirit departed, significantly on Shabbat, the day of rest.
May those candles of the Holy Land light the way…
until we meet again.

Dr. G. Heath King

I only knew Dr. Kaufman as my professor at Eastern Michigan University. He was one of the best. He taught how to think. I will always be grateful to him for his outstanding teaching abilities. I was lucky to have met him.